by Vladimir Markin
Translated by Alexander Maidan
Dear colleagues! Dear fellow editors!
Answers to asked and unasked questions have been piling up. But, please, let us keep this between ourselves. It is not meant for the press here, in the capital. You probably ask yourselves as you watch your screens: why and to what end are they showing all this? Why do self-confessed Russophobes march through the streets of Moscow while the mass media lionizes trendy scandal-mongers and common cads, like Novikov, the lawyer; anyone at all, except people of culture and high professionalism? It begs the question – does Russia have some “cunning plan”, which has considered all these aberrations?
I will reveal in strict secrecy, and only to my compatriots, that such a plan exists, though its acronym is not CPP (Cunning Putin’s Plan) but STP (Secret Thousand-Year Plan). We do not yet know all the details, but we have already participated in its formation.
After the collapse and ruin of the nineties, many began to wonder: why had things turned out this way? How had we been made to quarrel and grow apart, only to be later cast aside? Was it because in our Soviet schools, the press, our cinema and the books allowed us, everything had been sanitized, made either black or white? And when, thanks to the efforts of our MIC (Military Industrial Complex – translator’s note) we had neutralized the external danger and the feeling of living in a fortress under siege and opened up to the world, through that breech poured floods of yellow journalism, schemes, enticements, mental illnesses, wearing down an otherwise healthy organism.
Why shouldn’t we now, especially after the success of the “Our Crimea” campaign, simply barricade the doors, throw the bolts and stop allowing obvious scoundrels to gloat in and sully our media spaces? In the first place, it would give them free publicity and the cachet of ‘forbidden fruit’. Most importantly, all of us, including the next generation, need to develop immunities, especially as we have now, according to plan, reduced the virulence of the infection itself.
‘Forewarned is forearmed.’ Perhaps, here too the Plan was triggered, but right up until the 2nd of July, 2014, people could still be deceived by the lie of the “well-intentioned” Western press. However, there could have been no ‘louder’ effect on that than the ‘friendly’ silence of the Western mass media, which, without exception, failed to report a single one of the rocket strikes by the Ukrainian Armed Forces on the peaceful city of Lugansk.
That did it! From that moment on, no one but the dim-witted, could preserve any illusions about the reality of the West’s fully-coordinated informational warfare. Today, the Western mass media is in full-siege warfare and news blackout mode. Incidentally, that day, July 2nd, can now be considered the day then western journalism committed suicide and ceased to exist as a free and independent profession.
We all know and respect our Russian military traditions – how to lure the enemy into the depth of our territory, even into the capital itself; the only way we can achieve their complete annihilation and a decisive removal of the threat. In the same way, in the information wars, we have to tolerate the Russophobe cells on the streets of the capital. But these professional subsidy-eaters too, have been trapped by the Plan. It is one thing, in utilizing the cliches of the information war, to put on a mourning face over the ‘sacrificial lamb’ Nemtsov, but it is a completely other thing to come out in support of the clearly psychopathic journalist-killer, Savchenko. The subsidy-eaters cannot help but intervene for her; it is their ‘bread and butter’ within the framework of the West’s information war over the former Ukraine. But by supporting her, each of them revealed their true colors – Brown! Pretending that they are defending ‘rights and freedoms’ will no longer work. ‘Free the Murderers’ – is from a different opera, no longer Liberal, but Nazi.
Russophobes are not held back even by the fact that the ringleader of the illegal “Aidar Battalion”, who gave Savchenko her orders, is now, in Kiev itself, facing legal questions about those ‘heroic deeds’, as are scores of his other subordinates. The Internet remembers everything forever. This crisis will pass, nations will make peace, and the law, not only in Moscow and Kiev, but in Europe, will include in certain individuals’ resumes: “Backed Savchenko, probably due to flaws in normal perception mechanisms”.
Incidentally, Savchenko herself, in spite of all her immaturity, fled the rough field-justice of martial law for the humane safety of the Russian legal system. The Federal Penitential Service provided her with a complete program of psycho-neurological rehabilitation, and yet she still chafes at the bit to go back into battle. Of course, justice demands that she serve all twenty-two years. But if an exchange can help release good and honest people from the dungeons of Kiev, it should be considered.
There is only one way in law to achieve this – to hand her over to serve her term in her native land. She cannot be pardoned without an admission of guilt and some show of remorse. In any case, pardon is the prerogative of the President of Russia. Only he can make such decisions.
In Kiev, in spite of the law and any agreements, she would certainly be ‘set free’. Thus, in the Rada (The Ukrainian parliament – translator’s note), in the PACE session, and through lobbying efforts at the Euro-parliament, a new ‘heroine’ would be born, a mentally ill, infectious one. And they already have an established cesspool of feeble-minded Russophobes. This new mainline injection, will propel many across the threshold from weak-mindedness to madness. In this way, the Russo-phobic wing of the West will self-destruct all the sooner. The crisis in Kiev will ultimately end in the re-establishment of the Constitution and the repeal of illegal legislation. So, in the end, Savchenko will go back to finish serving her ‘twenty’, in a Ukrainian prison. All one needs is a little patience – time will run its course.
As for our bizarre television programming, there is not much that can be done just now, other than supporting the Culture Channel. Throughout the world, the advertising oligopoly dictates format to broadcasters. But without advertising, relying on state budgets alone, the nation would be unable to further develop this tool of influence. Possibly, now that a reorientation towards internal markets has begun, as well as import replacement, advertising too will become our own, along with which will come a form and content more synonymous with our culture.
On the other hand, much of the Western programming format, even with our content, appears grotesque. Busy people do not watch television at all, and the bizarre programming attracts no one except somewhat bizarre people. For instance, if a family includes a busy grandmother, who plays with her grandchildren and who finds the time to have singsongs with her friends, she will have little desire to watch strange programs. Whereas, in the case of a ‘difficult’ mother-in-law, perhaps it is better for the whole family if she cannot be torn away from her weird shows.
Even among those who traded TV for the Internet, questions arise: why do social networks contain so many morally aberrant freaks, such as those who defend Savchenko? But they are the flip side of the moral majority, and proof that 99% of us are normal, kind people. It is just that the Internet, with its ability to seemingly bring people closer and encourage hyperbole, is still a novelty. Living in large cities, we notice tens of thousands of people out of the corner of our eye, but our attention is only grabbed if someone runs around naked. This happens rarely and is a crime. Similarly, in virtual reality, truly crazy people are rare, but they are unafraid, and you and I further encourage them with our exchanges: “Will you look at this freak show!” Never mind. People who live near zoos quickly stop paying attention to the cries from the monkey cage. In the same way, we will soon stop paying attention to this tiny minority of hysterics and imbeciles.
So, that we all may be convinced that our Plan has taken into consideration every minor detail, I will tell you another secret. The favorite cafe of the pro-Western opposition in Moscow is Cafe Jean Jacques – in honor of Rousseau. Now that those who frequent it have become accustomed to this self-identification with the West, the time has come to play the following move – to enlist as counter-propaganda the key thoughts and preferences of the philosopher.
Firstly, in his day, the original Jean Jacques protested against all who sought to impose Western standards on Russians. In his opinion, the uniqueness of Russian culture would be the very best contribution Russia could make to world culture, not its aping of the West. But Jean Jacques went further. Let me attempt to make this clear to that beau monde, those snobbish, pretentious, poseurs. He was married, not to a piece of urban fluff, but to a severe, ‘quilt-jacket’ from rural Lyon. [‘vatniki’ Eng. ‘quilt jackets’ is a pejorative term used by western Ukrainians to describe Russians of the Eastern Ukraine referring to cotton, quilted jackets and vest they supposedly wear – translator’s note]. Had it been otherwise, it is unlikely that he would have been able to preserve his clarity of thought and to become a pre-eminent philosopher.
Incidentally, one of the main goals of the information war against Russia remains unchanged since the days of Perestroika: they really want to weaken us by sowing discord, so that people who live in the provinces start to think that Russophobes and loafers reign in the cities. In this way they hope to encourage the youth to adopt these corrupt fashions. In reality, Moscow is full of working people, like me and my colleagues and our children, who come from all the provinces and regions of Russia. And we, too, worry, not about the dollar exchange rate in order to go abroad, but about the stability of the rouble and the economic development of our country, including our hometowns. We also worry about the judgment of our fellow countrymen. But we know that together we will overcome any problems.
The biggest secret of our Plan, and why no enemy can ever defeat us, is because it is impossible to infect our people with hatred of other people, or of our neighbors. Nor is it possible to fan war hysteria or the smoldering fires of nationalism. Let them not even dare to hope that we will answer their information war symmetrically – by lying, manipulating, insulting and demeaning. What is right, the truth, and the readiness to fight for them – these are our main weapons in the war for the confidence and trust of all people of good will. As for evil people, let them continue fearing us.
One last word about the Plan. Only culturally underdeveloped people like the ‘jumpers’ of Kiev, or their ‘ideological brethren’ can believe that everything is always Putin’s fault or the fault of his ‘cunning plan’. In reality we are talking about something completely other – the Secret Thousand Year Plan – which is also called The destiny of Russia.
Always your correspondent
Vladimir Markin, Head of Media Department of the Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation