by Ruslan Ostashko

Translation and captions by Leo

Three steps to “return Crimea” was thought up by a gloomy “Sumerian” genius. [Joke of Ukrainian invented ancient roots.] No, they do not imply a swift msrch of an ‘unbeatable’ Ukrainian Armed Forces through Perekop and Chongar.

Everything is much funnier.

Checkmate Vatniki! [Ed. – Ukrainian slur for Russians.] This expression was born at the start of Ukrainian crisis by couch-warriors obsessed with Russia’s “imminent collapse” in some near future. However, the phrase got quickly weaponized by ruthless Putin trolls, turning it into a symbol of Ukrainian ultranationalist dreams – disconnected from reality.

Here, I narrate for you about their dreams without end. Recently, the talk from Kiev was to join Russia and start harming the damned Moskals [Ed. – pejorative term for Russians] from within through partisan methods.

And here, before sounds of echo from our clever trolling countrymen dissipated, the ultra-nationalists generated a new shining plan. This time, it wasn’t about a partisan method, but about returning Crimea in three steps. So what kind of steps are these? We’ll give the word to Anton Korynevych, of the so-called position “Ukrainian presidential representative in Crimea.”

Source: RIA Novosti – “Korynevych explained about the main areas of work on the ‘deoccupation of the peninsula.’ In Kiev, they plan to develop ‘necessary parliamentary bills for the Crimea and Crimeans.’ According to Korynevych, the Ukrainian authorities have already prepared ‘certain drafts.’”

So basically, the first step is for Ukrainian members of parliament to approve a certain portion of useless papers, which in no way can be introduced in real life.

Anton Korynevych: “In the same way, politicians intend to bring informational liberation for Crimean citizens. The creation of cultural and educational initiatives for Crimeans, an information component and relations with citizens can be determined as the second priority.”

So the “Sumerians” will be explaining to Crimeans how great it is to live on the coast of Ukrainian “national-conscience” bones. And to urge them to surrender. The inventors of this ‘strategy’ are well known.

*Video plays* (2:05)

“Citizens of the Soviet Union! We do not feel any hostility towards you. We are fighting against your authorities, which are sending you to your deaths. How can you trust your officers? They shoot soldiers for taking a cover from bullets, or withdraw. German fighters are your friends! Surrender! We will be merciful and will show you respect!”

*Video ends* (2:37)

Yes, this audio sample was from a computer game. But was it not the same type of German propaganda during the Great Patriotic War? Finally, the third step in returning Crimea consists of defending human rights.

Source: RIA Novosti – “Ukraine plans to deal with the protection of human rights on the peninsula. ‘It can be as assistance in obtaining a passport or temporary housing and other issues.’ – concluded Korynevych.”

What kind of defending of human rights can be done by those who shell the civilians of Donbass? The question is rhetorical. As for delirious claims of “getting temporary housing”, then the Ukrainian mainstream media very reluctantly write about how to settle in, for those who believed in the “Sumerian” propaganda and fled Donbass for ‘Ukraine Ze Europe.’ But they end up as people suffering for 5 year!.
Source: Belsat TV – “Ukraine still has not solved the problem of internally displaced people. Many of them cannot return to their destroyed houses, they also did not receive compensation from the state. Although the state program was approved last year, people begin to arbitrarily seize abandoned buildings.”

The same regime that promises to help Crimeans, controlled Crimea from 1991-2014, and didn’t use one iota in helping to solve the problem of returning Crimean Tatars to the peninsula. How can one trust any promises reaching out from Kiev, from the “Ukraine Ze Europe” politicians? This is just another wave of imitating activities. It is existentially necessary to repulse criticism of the “national-conscious” Nazis that dream of Russia’s demise.

The country’s liquidators selling “Ukraine Ze Europe” meme could tell the politicians; “You see? We don’t reject plans to own Crimea once again. We make new programs, what else do you need?” For, this territory with fake everything from its history to its economy, three imitative steps voiced by a representative of the comedian-hetman Zelensky is the only way they do anything.

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