By Thorsten J. Pattberg for the Saker Blog

Part I. What They Do

On July 4th, 2021, the globalists’ flagship magazine The Economist published another apocalyptic prognosis for our planet’s near future and humanity’s final act: ‘No Safe Places: The 3 Degree Celsius Future’.

The abstract reads: “The extremes of floods and fires are not going away, but adaptation can lessen their impact.”

Fake, doctored images were used throughout the report for emotional effect. Penguins that have no ice no more are floating on a sofa in the ocean.

Another thumbnail titled ‘The Three Degree World’ depicts ten matchsticks with their sulfur-heads photo-shopped so as to resemble ten little planet Earths, each one showing greater burns until ‘Earth’ is finally burned to charcoal.


Normally, if such “News” were published on some pinhead blog of the conspiracy theory movement or, God forbid, by some anonymous pundit on a Reddit or 8Chan subpage, not only would the administrators delete it promptly, but it would also alarm the thought police. For example, spreading fake news in Europe can set a news-site back 50 million euros in fines.

But this can never apply to our top journalists. Ever.

Yes, deliberate hoaxes, misinformation and fake news are prohibited by laws and regulations in theory, correct. And yes, in addition, if such a news item were posted by an anonymous author, that’s usually also marked as spam on top of it.

Yet when the top magazine of the global ruling elites, The Economist, prints such rubbish, it passes off as first class Western journalism, and the trademark anonymity of The Economist’s authors passes off as the highest standard in journalism anywhere in the world.

So what is their magic? What is the journalistic trick?

Why are the top journalists in the world at the top globalist outlets on the planet – not just at The Economist magazine, but at the Wall Street Journal, the Guardian, the New York Times, the Spiegel and so on – able to get away with obvious misinformation, propaganda and fake news, while most other human beings on this planet are punished?

Some commentators blame it on censorship and power politics: “If the journalists do it, it is information. If we do it, it is misinformation.”

This double standard is certainly correct, as those news corporations together indeed form a syndicate and report the same, and will force politicians to clamp down on alternative media.

But that does not explain panic headlines such as “No Safe Places,” photo-shopped Penguins on Floating Sofas or Matchsticks for Planets. Journalism must have ethics, and the Economist’s anonymous authors are breaking journalistic ethics, it seems, and not just on climate change, but on everything else.

Those journalists can lie, cheat and misinform.

But how?

And here is the shocking answer…

… it is in the grammar and the semantics. It is a language trick.

This is journalism 12.0. It is taught at the highest level in our universities, beyond doctoral and post-doctoral level. It is as sophisticated and complicated as advanced engineering. Within each news organization, it is understood only by the top twenty people, at most.

I am a linguist and an ex-Harvard, ex-Tokyo and ex-Peking scholar and in today’s lesson, I would like to briefly familiarize you with the theory of the most deadly journalistic weapons of all: The Second Subjunctive.

Part II. How They Do It

The Second Subjunctive is a gateway to the 5th dimension and a cursor to unreality and timelessness. We live in a several dimensional universe which we don’t see, but one of the ways to access and describe the 5th dimension is by language.

All languages in the world can semantically form the Second Subjunctive, but not all languages have definite grammar for it. The First Subjunctive is the grammatical expression of wishful thinking and feeling. The Second Subjunctive indicates the conditional future-past. It is completely hyper-theoretical and not real.

In advanced linguistics which is key to all politics, laws, literature and the humanities, we thus have access to stuff that does not exist, that is not true, that is unreal but still is descriptive.

So, the Economist’s “Three Degree Future” is a fiction based on a condition that the world’s heating up 3 degrees (which it probably doesn’t), based on the condition that it burns like matchsticks (which it probably ain’t), with penguins floating on sofas through the Atlantic (which could be possible in a parallel universe yes), all under the condition that you open your mind and believe it.

You won’t find a lawyer on the planet who can challenge the journalism in the Second Subjunctive.

So here is how to access the 5th dimension and use the Second Subjunctive in your work like a pro.

For a start, most writers are timid and simply declare their writings as fiction or thesis or commentary. Alternatively, they label their writings satire or art or literature.

This is a good start indeed. As if you were pro-actively warning the police that you were just kidding and really didn’t have a clue what you were talking about. You are being funny, creative, theoretical, and you were just pulling absurd headlines out of your own ass for everybody’s entertainment.

But you can’t do that in journalism, because in journalism, writers are supposed to report something that actually happened. Therefore, journalists must attend journalism school and will inevitably practice the Second Subjunctive, its grammar and semantics.

Part III. A Case In Point

Claas Relotius was born in 1985 in West Germany and went to the University of Bremen to study political science and to the Hamburg Media School to study journalism. He is tall and presentable, has full blond hair and blue eyes, and became an exceptionally good writer. Wait. I take that last one back. Claas Relotius worked for the best newspapers in Germany, with the best editorial teams and proofreaders that corporate money and the regime press could buy.

Mr. Relotius’s background looks ridiculous, as if an invisible hand wanted him to become the God of Journalism. He worked for the regime press Frankfurter Allgemeine, the Financial Times, the Zeit (the German Times) and dozens more. The Jews of America promoted Mr. Relotius from afar. He won America’s Cable News Network CNN’s “Journalist of the Year Award” in 2014. The “German Reporter Prize” in 2016. The “European Press Prize” in 2017. It is just too ridiculous to list this man’s obviously regime-fabricated credentials. His final promotion before his fall from grace in 2018 was to the globalist European propaganda magazine Der Spiegel.

Claas Relotius’s journalistic job was to smear the Donald Trump presidency in America and promote regime change in favor of the pro-German US Democrats. What Relotius didn’t know was that his Spanish-born right hand glove knew about the Mexico-US border situation and spoke the languages, and worse: this dark-skinned “colleague” simply had enough of German arrogance.

Spanish-born Juan Moreno blew Claas Relotius and the “German way of journalism” out of the waters and to the US Republican shores. To shorten this scandal: German journalism is complete fiction and Claas Relotius was its greatest star. He had invented all of it, and kind of wanted to get caught. There is “probably only a very few” of his 120 articles that were not completely falsified, Mr. Relotius confessed in Reporter-Magazin.

Mr. Relotius made up expert testimonials, invented characters like streetwise taxi drivers and chatty bar keepers, sad Syrian orphans and heart-warming Alzheimer patients, and he faked interviews about Donald Trump supporters.

What made the downfall of Claas Relotius for Western journalism so fascinating is that he was only caught because of simp orbiter Juan Moreno, and how Mr. Relotius just did what all the other top journalists in the West do every day. They are operating in the 5th dimension. They are writers of conditionals, non-reality and fiction.

For example, American journalism about Moscow or Beijing is written in Washington or London. The Economist magazine had not really travelled to Antarctica and filmed penguins. Nothing the anonymous journalists described in their ‘The Three Degree Future’ article they had seen. They hired graphic designers for their images, and so on. Not much in journalism is real.

Likewise, the Spiegel magazine hired anti-Trumpers, not pro-Trumpers. There is not much to report, once you know the access path to the 5th Dimension. After the initiation, top journalists write what their paymasters want them to.

Part IV. The Path To Admission

The official German-USA-EU narrative was predictable: This Relotius is a rare, very rare, exceptionally rare case of a fabulist. No real crime was committed. No heads rolled, no persecution, no take down of Spiegel. Nobody else was investigated. US ambassador to Germany, Richard Grenell, shamed German journalism over its “anti-American tendency,” but that was it.

That all happened three years ago, and it’s safe to say we have covered enough spacetime to see a clear legal picture of future journalism. There are no laws, there is no accountability, there will never be anything remotely resembling honesty, justice or transparency. There need not be any of those things, because the craft of writing is beyond the real, above the factual, extra to the truth and apart from the reality of the world.

Claas Relotius, just like every other writer, be that scholars and literati or journalists, cannot commit a crime in the 5th dimension. Yes, we can oust him, fire him in person. But that is office politics. His writings won prizes, he is an excellent creator, he worked for the best papers in the world. He became part of world history – and don’t we all want that?

All your favorite journalists are still there. They can write whatever they wish. Mr. Relotius is proof of the living Second Subjunctive.

To understand this, one has to break away from the archaic ideas that there is reality and that the media deliver the truths.

The Second Subjunctive, sometimes known as Subjunctive II, is the linguistic portal to unreality, uncertainty and prognostication.

Mr. Relotius’s Anti-Trump journalism was totally fake and fabricated, yes, but that was the very condition of Mr. Relotius’s employment: Baseless allegations, depressing forecasts, impossible predictions and presaged conclusions. Just like the writings of The Economist magazine or the New York Times or any other globalist news outlet. There needs not to be a factual basis on words and there never will be in the near future.

It is completely irrelevant that there really are no penguins on the floating sofa and no three degree Celsius apocalypse for The Economist magazine to write about penguins floating on sofas and the climate change apocalypse.

The English language, in contrast to French, Latin or German, has lost its explicit Subjunctive II conjugations of its modal verbs. But journalists are still able to mimic grammatical unreality by using adverbs and the conditional clause of the verb ‘to be’. It becomes the “would be.”

Our Ancient languages were much more radical and unforgiving. If you said the wrong thing, or the right thing but the wrong way, this could get you murdered. Thus, the Second Subjunctive was a life-saver. The German language for example still retains the true unreality clause for ‘to be’ (sein in German). It becomes “würde” in the First Subjunctive and “wäre” in the Second Subjunctive. This “wäre” is conveying a “could-would” parallel universe.

A grammatical Second Subjunctive mood in your text, or indeed just a word of a probably-maybe-if-then-perhaps modality, an unholy adverb like allegedly or likely or possibly, and the writer lets it be known that he entered the 5th dimension, the speculative metaverse of hypothetical thought, the fabled subjunctive and its way with uncertainty and boundless creativity.

All top regime journalists in the world use unreality as a weapon. And now you know that too…

The author is a German writer and cultural critic.

“If I had known the man to be a grammatician, I could have written him perhaps to become a terrorist.“ –LordPressFreedom

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